I Choose You! Tutorial Series - #007 Squirtle

The third video in my pokemon series; squirtle! I think squirtle is a cutie patootie. Even though bulbasaur used to be my favorite, I always chose squirtle as my starter when playing blue version. Don't ask why. Plus I loved him on Pokemon; the squirtle squad was absolutely hilarious.



Face:
- Boots No7 Mattifying Mattifant Makeup Base
- Benefit Dr. Feelgood
- The Balm Time Balm Concealer in Medium
- Physician's Formula Magic Mosaic Multi-Colored Custome Face Powder in Beige/Warm Beige

Brows:
- Browns from the 88 palette

Eyes:
- Urban Decay Primer Potion
- Sephora Mini Eyeliner pencil in 074
- Make Up Forever Flash Color in 000 Turquoise
- 88 Original Palette
- Almay One Coat Nourishing Mascara
- 24 Hr Tattoo Liner

Cheeks:
- MAC Fun and Games Blush

Lips:
- Smashbox Lip Enhancing Gloss Sheer Color in Candid

As usual, pics can be enlarged if clicked on.

Style Black and Dsquared Lovin'

Soooooo
major haulage up in hurrr

Picked up stuff from Style Black and Dsquared as the title implies

I think I should address this, considering I am a "younger" beauty aficionado (YTer and Blogger sound too... official), but seriously, my parents DO NOT buy makeup for me on a whim. I seriously have to give up an arm, a leg, and then some if I want to buy a drugstore lipstick, let alone a huge haul from MAC. I am just tired of the misconception that younger makeup collectors are spoiled brats who get whatever they want. I'm sure there are tons who get their mommy or daddy to shell out cash and buy them whatever they want, but that is not the case for me. For one, I pretty much have to prove myself with getting good grades and doing chores and whatnot, not to mention I pay for most of my stuff myself; this time I just took out a "loan" (lol) by borrowing money from my mom and promising to pay her back when I get Xmas money. And even that I had to freakin' beg and plead. So I'm just saying, most of my makeup purchases are either out of my own pocket or because I had to do something to "earn" it.

Anyways, enough of that. I'm not going to post swatch pics because honestly, they are EVERYWHERE over the internet; Specktra, Temptalia, Makeup and Beauty blog... just to name a few.

I picked up three of the greasepaint sticks in "V" "B" and "Black", two of the mineralized eyeshadows in "Blue Flame" and "Young Punk", "Feline" eye kohl, and "Blackfire" glimmerglass. I also got two samples from the MUA artist there, Studio Moisture tint in "medium dark" and prep and prime skin. It was actually quite funny, the girl recognized me. I suppose its because I'm young, buy a shxt load everytime I stop there, and it's always crazy/bright things (like the last time I went there, I walked out with Colour Matters technakohl liner, a bright green, morange lipstick, and copper reflects glitter! I'm crazzzyyyy). But yeah, that was pretty cool. And my mother, being the stereotypical Asian woman she is (I love you mom, but do not deny this fact), asked "could there possibly be any discount/freebie/gift we could get? -wink wink grin-". Which is how I got my free samples. God, I have never been prouder.

I am more than happy with all of my purchases. Actually, I love almost everything. Even the stuff I am not head over heels about, I like A LOT. I am positively apeshit over the greasepaint sticks! OMG. I figure with the word "Grease" and my oily lids, this would not be a match made in heaven. Wrong. Once they dry/set, they stay there. Granted I still have to apply UDPP (like with everything else), but still. They don't crease like the MUFE flash colors. And the colors are amazing. I don't know which one I like the best, I love all three!

The mineralize eyeshadows are to die for. At first I didn't think I would like them too much, but I do. They're actually suprisingly sheer if you don't apply a base, so they blend out rather well. I don't care if they are black and glittery- I will wear them to school anyways! "Young Punk", like I think I saw someone mention before, is what I wanted "Beauty Marked" to be like- but it's even better than that.

Feline eye kohl; I get the hype. I thought to myself; how black could it really be? The answer; very. It is the darkest black liner i have ever seen. To be honest I don't think I will get much use out of it other than waterline or tightlining, because I don't use black pencil liners on my lash line (I am, and will always be, a black liquid liner girl), but it's still amazing to one.

Blackfire glimmerglass; homg. On it's own, I am not to crazy about it. It's a nice alternative to clear gloss, because it makes your natural lip color darker (which is nice for people with naturally pigmented lips), but the glitters kind of settle into lines if your lips are dry, and makes them appear dryer, despite the fact you have gloss on. But over lipstick, magic happens.

My favorite combo so far with Blackfire is layering it over NYX lipstick in "Euclyptus", which is a hot pink with slight purple reflects. It's kind of similar to MAC show orchid lipstick. It's already a pretty color, but with blackfire over it, it turns a sultry, almost plummy color with GORGEOUS purple gitters. To. Die. For.



Long text post. I know it's boring without pictures. but I didn't feel like posting any because, TBH, my cam sucks, and swatches are so easy to find anyways.

Meh

So, I know I generally post makeup related shennanigans, or at least happy, fun things here but this time, this post isn't exactly happy. In fact, it's quite far from it.

Normally I'm uncomfortable posting really intense, deep feelings of mine for all to see. I mean, I'm torn; part of me wants to share with someone this stupid feeling of mine and hope that maybe, just maybe, they will feel the same way. Yet at the same time, having anyone read this and think "God, what a whiny little snot!" or something along the lines of that is absolutely mortifying. But I'm going to do it. I am going to take the plunge.

I am really torn. I think it's fairly obvious I am a social hermit. But it doesn't stop there. I am TERRIBLE at interacting with people. I don't know why. I mean, my parents are fairly outgoing people. I don't know what went wrong, or how, but I won't get into the psychology behind that. Sometimes in a way, I feel almost mildly autistic. I know I am not, by far, because I know generally how to gage other emotions, but sometimes I seem to be a bit lacking in that department. Like I remember there was this one test we took in psychology (for fun) that was given to test if you could read other's emotions. I failed for the most part.

So lets just say I am not really confident in my ability to see other's emotions. Thats why I have so many few female friends. Because, lets be honest, the majority of females rarely show their true feelings, its all hidden. For someone who is emotionally-stupid (i.e.,me), reading REGULAR emotions is hard enough, so trying to read someone who obscures their emotions is even worse.

But all that aside, my main problem is having close relationships with people. I mean, ok, I've met a lot of awesome people through the internet, that I never would have conversed with IRL if it wasn't for BlogTV, Youtube, Twitter, Blogger, AIM,etc. And I'm glad; I wouldn't change a thing. And while I know how to be nice and "normal" and behave in a (generally) culturally acceptable way, I don't know how to do anything further, like gain close relationships.

I guess I don't believe in myself. I don't know if by saying something I'll be too pushy, or too distant. I can't really gage in between. I mean, I've seen some radical examples of fanatical people, or just people not "liked" by the internet community, and I am deathly afraid I will be like one of those people and don't realize it. So in my fear, I stay away.

I don't expect people to treat me like we're BFFs. It's not their obligation. I'm not complaining like "OMG THEY DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME". It's not that at all. I kind of wish I could become closer with some people (as creepy as it sounds) but I really don't know how to go there. Ive tried just letting time pass,for I figure "you dont MAKE friendships, it kind of just happens". But I don't know. I just... meh.

I realize this is really incredibly shallow and stupid but I sometimes feel like I'm impeding on some thing that really I am not appart of, but worst of all, that I'm screwing up. Sometimes it's just easier to stay away.

I guess what I'm just trying to say is sometimes I feel like I should stay away but I can't. Like I don't know if this is REALLY how it is, and that I really am being a nuisance to everyone, or if it's just my stupid insecurities. And I'm afraid to ask anyone, because people tend to pad the truth "Oh not at all!" even if it is a blatant lie, or ... if I ask they'll think I'm some creepy possesive stalker person. I'm not.



Sorry this post was so... negative.

I try not to pour my problems on to other people but I just had to vent.
I may delete this eventually. IDK.